


Your Colour in My Eyes

by QueenandLeonhardt



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-06
Updated: 2018-09-06
Packaged: 2019-07-07 22:12:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,648
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15917310
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QueenandLeonhardt/pseuds/QueenandLeonhardt
Summary: Keith didn’t believe he’d ever see colours. Soulmates were all about happy endings and fairy tales, something Keith never was able to experience. Falling in love wasn’t for him, until he met Shiro.





	Your Colour in My Eyes

It only took less than a year after he met Shiro for it to happen. 

They’d been talking about aerophysics far beyond the material in Keith’s class when Shiro laughed at something Keith had said. Keith smiled at the sound before almost jumping out of his chair. The black and white of the area suddenly changed into these tones he had never experienced before. Each book, the librarian’s desk, the small tables and chairs where students studied were all different in shade now. Each thing stood out from the other in a way grey tones never could and it was leaving him feeling much too overwhelmed. 

When he turned back to look at Shiro again he’d initially wanted to cry out to Shiro, ask him for help in this situation he was lost in, but then found he couldn’t. Shiro was beautiful. His hair was the black Keith had always known with only the slightest difference to it, but his skin and eyes had these differences of neither a variation of exactly the grey, white, or black he'd known that he didn’t know how to explain. It was very appealing to Keith’s eye how these pieced visual assortments each stood out intensely from the rest. Shiro was more beautiful than Keith ever even realised he could be, and it was breathtaking. 

It was only then he realised that this had to be colour. Colour, as in something Keith had never expected to see in his entire lifetime. Colour was for fairy tales and happy endings, something Keith knew he was never getting. Colour was only for people who’d fallen in love with the one they were destined to be with. He’d even hated the idea of true love and soulmates for as long as he could remember. The idea that somebody could have that one “forever” was too idealistic for him. He knew he was never getting it, and resigned himself to that long ago. 

This only scared him even more as his eyes frantically roamed around the room, taking in each and every object that separated itself from the rest. It was terrifying and way too much for him to handle. He saw colour and was undeniably in love. He couldn't stand being here around his “forever,” not with knowing what he knew now. 

He was in love and destined to be with Takashi Shirogane. 

But that wasn't right. It wasn't and couldn't be. Shiro loved Adam. Adam was his forever and soulmate. Keith was just a kid, a kid Shiro only saw as a little brother. None of this was right and he was terrified. 

He’d quickly grabbed his books, thrust them into his bag, and then left Shiro with only a muttered “goodbye.” Shiro had given him a worried look, but Keith had left fast enough Shiro wasn’t able to ask any questions. 

Keith had quickly rushed away from the library and towards the cadet dorms, not at all ready to come to terms with what just occurred. He’d thrown his book bag once he opened the door to his dorm, not caring at all about where it landed. Not even making it to the bed, he threw his back roughly against the wall, slid down, and curled himself up into a ball. 

His breathing became laboured and his mind was running much too fast for him to handle. This wasn’t right. He didn’t believe in soulmates. He knew for a fact he’d never let another person get so close enough he’d ever fall in love with anybody. He had walls up, walls he thought he knew nobody would ever be able to break through. 

But Shiro hadn’t jumped over or broken these walls. He’d knocked and Keith let him in. Keith put his head in his hands. He had nobody but himself to blame for this situation. He’d let Shiro in and had made the mistake of falling in love with a man who’d never love him back, no matter what the universe was trying to tell him. The soulmate stories he'd heard over and over since he was a child always told of soulmates who were going to be in love together forever. Soulmates were meant to be between people who’d love and care for each other as equals, not a mentor who looked at him as a kid brother. 

Besides, Shiro had Adam, his one true soulmate to love and cherish forever. Anybody could see the two were interested, and supposedly in love. Any day now they were going to see colours and Shiro was going to waste no time making Adam his husband. They were going to be the perfect couple and leave Keith far behind. Keith was going to see colours and know for sure it was a mistake. Shiro being the one destined to fall in love with him was wrong, a cruel trick the universe decided to play on him. 

After a week of being in severe denial, Keith knew he had to understand what he was seeing and what these new scary feelings he felt. No matter how much the situation bothered him, there were too many things thrust upon him that did nothing but bother him more. 

Bad idea as it was, he’d decided to check out books. He had nobody to talk to, so it was the only option. After finding the books he needed and went to check them out, the librarian had smiled fondly at him when she saw the texts on soulmates and colours. He'd briefly debated sneaking them out, but knew as high in demand and important as soulmate books were there would most definitely be an intense combing of surveillance to find out who stole them. Keith quickly gazed away from the librarians look, cursing himself for not taking that chance, and was ashamed by the pink that dusted his cheeks. 

“We aren’t used to seeing ones this young,” she told him kindly after handing him the books back. “There hasn't been a cadet who's found their soulmate in around fifty years. You and your soulmate must be very special.”

Keith ran off without another word, ignoring the soft giggles from behind the desk. 

He prefered the colour book, putting words to all the visuals he’d come across. The other book was okay enough, explaining everything in detail and helping Keith understand a bit more of this soulmate thing. He blushed at the chapter explaining sexual intimacy that one can only have with their soulmate (that chapter maybe having a bit too much clinical detail over physical and sexual interest in one’s soulmate--feelings that Keith hadn’t had before until now), but he may or may not have appreciated that one. He’d known for a while people were inherently asexual until they found their soulmates, but hadn’t known the extent of it all until it happened to him. The sudden physical attraction to Shiro had scared Keith. Keith had gained a sudden interest in the skin Shiro showed when his Garrison uniform was wide open when he was relaxing or sweating over his hoverbike, as well as those moments together where Shiro would wear that leather jacket and some tight pants that really showed off all his muscles. 

Ashamed as he was to do this over a man who didn’t love him back, he found he liked touching himself and imagining it was Shiro. The book had said it was okay, perfectly normal in fact. However, Keith felt wrong. Sex was for soulmates. Sexual attraction wasn’t for some teen who’d somehow broken the way of things. 

Through all of that, the worst of the book was trying to get the reader to come to terms that they were in love and that it would last forever. Keith didn’t want to be in love, but it was a reality. What wasn’t a reality was Shiro ever being interested back.

It didn’t help that Shiro and Keith’s relationship was growing even more over the months they’d began to hang out after Keith found out he was in love. Study sessions in the library and fun rides out into the desert grew into fun movie watching after big exams and Keith opening up to Shiro while they watched the sun go down. These moments were absolutely not helping how in love with Shiro that Keith already was. 

Now was the day Shiro had wanted Keith to come by for a movie night, but Keith’s pick had been so bad Shiro had pulled out a magazine he’d just bought for Keith. He suggested that now they could view it together to avoid the screen. Much to Keith’s joy, it was a book that showed old, classic bikes before they could hover. Keith had always been fascinated with them, but he was a broke kid coming to the Garrison straight out of his fourth foster family who couldn’t care less about him. Shiro, being who he was, had of course bought a magazine for him to keep and he was all the more in love. 

(Adam was there too, sitting at Shiro's other side, but had been reading a textbook for his class since the beginning. He didn’t like action movies at all, but Shiro had requested to allow them on Keith’s days.) 

“I want the red one!” Keith said excitedly to Shiro, pressing his finger hard onto the front page of the magazine. 

Shiro’s gaze shot to Keith in shock.

Keith froze. The magazine hadn't specified the colour of the bike on the cover. Without meaning to, he’d just confessed his biggest secret to the man who’d been the one to let him see colours. He'd hoped this would remain a secret until he died, Shiro remaining in ignorance forever. 

“Keith, you can see colours?” Shiro questioned quietly. 

No. He couldn’t have said that. This was just some sort of nightmare. There was no way the universe was going to torture him this much. He'd already had to come to terms with this soulmate business and being in love with his guiding light; how much more did he need to suffer?

Keith sat frozen, not knowing what to do with Shiro’s expectant look. Shiro wasn't going to back down from this. Eventually, Keith gave a single stiff nod. 

“Wow, Keith,” Shiro said excitedly, his eyes suddenly gleaming with childlike curiosity. “Do you have a favourite colour? What's it look like?” 

From next to Shiro, Adam frowned. He didn’t turn his attention away from his book, but he looked upset. He tended to have that look on his face whenever Keith was around Shiro, but Keith getting Shiro’s special attention about something Shiro has wanted for so long only seemed to make the frown more prominent. 

“I like red,” Keith admitted awkwardly, looking down and tugging at his hoodie. “It’s pretty cool. Imagine heat and spices. That's red.”

“What am I like?” Shiro asked, smiling brightly. “My grandpa was never really good at explaining it, and the Garrison officers don't talk about colours or soulmates.”

Keith was going to regret replying. He could easily say he was like Shiro’s grandpa and didn't know how to explain it well, but something in him had him wanting to show Shiro what he knew. He wanted Shiro’s bright smile, and especially to see that smile directed at him. 

“Your eyes, they—they're kind of like expensive platinum? Like the precious metal? They're grey, but there's something to them you can't get when you just see grey tones between white and black. It goes really well with your skin and hair. Your skin is called ‘tan,’ but it depends on how much you've been in the sun recently whether it's a lighter or darker tone. Your hair is black, but it has some sort of warmth that I didn't see before. It's like there's some brown like chocolate in it too.” 

Keith felt heat rise to his cheeks. That wasn't like him. He didn't wax poetry on a wim. 

“Wow, Keith,” Shiro said in awe. “You're really good with colours. How much did you study this?” 

Keith shrugged. “I got a book. It was easy.” 

Liar. He’d only payed attention to specific things in the book and didn't bother to study much else. He'd liked the mix of colours in sunsets, the colours of galaxies, the different coloured pens he could sketch with, all the reds to find his favourite tone, and the assortment of colours that reminded him of Shiro. He enjoyed seeing space in particular and borrowed many books with pictures of nebulas, but when Shiro wasn't looking Keith liked studying the colours of Shiro. 

“Who is it?” Shiro asked abruptly. He winced after that. “Sorry, I got excited, Keith. If you’re not comfortable, you really don’t have to tell me.” 

There was no way he was telling Shiro, so Keith appreciated a way out of the conversation. Keith didn't want to imagine Shiro’s reaction to finding out it was him. Keith had gone over that scenario way too many times, mainly imagining pity and rejection. Sometimes he imagined disgust and betrayal, and those were the worst. Not to mention there was Adam in the room. Adam, who already hated the attention Shiro gave to the kid who doodled hoverbikes in his class instead of ever paying attention. Adam would give nothing but hate and anger in the most silent way that only Adam Wagner succeeded at. 

Keith shrugged, trying to appear nonchalant and hoping his face didn't convey his churning mind. “I don't really care who it is. It kinda just happened one day while I was in class, so it's probably just a fluke. Flukes… they can happen, right?” 

Shiro smiled softly at him. “No, they don't. Even in complicated matters, people who see colours are destined to have that somebody else they're truly in love with. You've got a soulmate you'll be happy with, buddy.” 

“I'm pretty sure it's a boy,” Keith admitted, wanting to see more of that smile. “I think he's older too. It could have been one of the officers in the room, but that's all I know. As I said, it's probably a mistake.” 

Shiro gave him a little smirk. “An older man, huh? Here I was thinking that you hated authority. You having a big crush on an officer and being their soulmate? I can't wait to see that.” 

“I told you I'm not sure,” Keith mumbled. “Any of the guys I know in that room could be it. Some officers just happened to be in class too. I just… I think it’s wishful thinking. Whatever though. It's not like I care.” 

Shiro’s smile slipped away and Keith suddenly felt extreme guilt for lying. 

“I guess it's not too terrible to know there's somebody I'll like forever,” Keith amended quickly. “I just… it's going to suck when they don't want me. They'll want somebody else.” 

Shiro gave him a worried look. “Keith, you're not being fair to yourself. There's going to be somebody who realises it's you they're made for. Soulmates are meant to be together. They find a way, regardless of adversities. What makes you think your soulmate is going to want somebody else?”

Keith frowned. “It's not like they'd want me, so why wouldn't they have somebody better? It makes sense.” 

“Those other two aren't meant to be and there's nothing wrong with that,” Shiro said. “Whoever it is, belongs with you and is going to appreciate it. Come on, buddy. You see colours! You have a soulmate and you should be happy.” 

Adam had been looking attentively at the exchange before his whole body tensed. His eyes traveled over to Keith before giving the most distasteful look Keith had ever received from him. He slammed his book shut. 

He knew. He knew that Keith was lying and that scared Keith. Keith knew that no matter how bad Shiro could reject him, dealing with Adam would be worse. Adam was the one who's been waiting through two years of dating and five years of friendship with the man he thinks is his soulmate, while Keith was just a kid who'd known Shiro just over a year after stealing the man's car. If he really knew the kid with disciplinary issues was Shiro’s real soulmate, Keith was already preparing for what he was about to face. 

“I’m sure there's been a few flukes over the years. Don't get your hopes up if it's somebody older and in a relationship who you know you don't have a chance with,” he said coldly, glaring directly at Keith. “If they want somebody else, they want somebody else. You have no business ruining lives.” 

Shiro looked over at Adam in shock. “Adam!”

Keith took in a deep breath. He knew it. Adam was well aware of who made Keith see colours and he wouldn't go down without a fight. To him, Shiro was his and had been his. Keith didn't even disagree that Shiro was truly Adams, so whatever was to come was completely useless and Adam didn't even realise it. Keith wasn't here to take Shiro away, if anything, he wanted Shiro to be happy, and happy was with Adam. It hurt to think it, that Shiro wasn't right for him, but it was his reality. 

Shiro turned his head back around to look at Keith. He smiled at him reassuringly. “It will work out, Keith. As I said, it might get complicated, but that doesn't mean it won't work out in the end.” 

Adam scowled. “What if that other person Keith is ‘soulmates’ with is already in a loving relationship with somebody their age? Should they just drop it? Don't be naive, Takashi.” 

“If people are meant to be together, they are,” Shiro replied insistently, giving his full attention back to Adam. “You know that soulmates only happen when one is in love with the one meant to be their soulmate forever. That first relationship won't work out because those two aren't meant to be. I know sometimes one will realise early on while the other takes some time. Whatever way, no matter how much time it takes, soulmates are soulmates. While a person may be in a relationship, it's not the right one.” 

“What the person ruining the relationship is doing makes them a whore who should mind their own business,” Adam said, his gaze not once leaving Keith. “They need to stay away from what's not theirs and let the other couple live in peace.” 

Keith’s hands balled into fists from their place set on his thighs. Angry tears began appearing at the corners of his eyes. He knew he shouldn’t be so upset, not from somebody where the dislike was mutual, but hearing “fluke” and “whore” when it was about Shiro hurt. He also knew he couldn't fight back. While not really having an issue with defying authority, Adam would do anything to get Keith out and away from Shiro. Keith would be out of the Garrison and without Shiro. 

“What's wrong with you?” Shiro asked in shock, thankfully not seeing Keith’s tears. “You've always believed in soulmates, so we should both acknowledge Keith’s future with his soulmate as something important and worth being happy about.”

“Takashi, I believe in us,” Adam said insistently, moving closer to Shiro on the couch and placing his hand atop of Shiro’s. “I believe when we know we truly love each other we’ll see colours and I know nothing will change that, especially not anybody else. ” 

Shiro’s eyebrows pinched together. “I already know that. I love you, but right now it’s Keith’s turn to have some good attention.” 

“I just think you're naive for believing some soulmate stuff is okay when it's absolutely not,” Adam said with a serious look, not dropping the matter like Shiro clearly wanted. “I just need you to know other people who try and wreck relationships should know their place--far from ruining that other person’s happiness.” 

Shiro frowned, pulling out his hand from underneath Adam’s. “You're being too harsh, Adam. We should be here happy and supporting Keith for knowing he has a soulmate instead of discussing soulmate discourse.”

“I’m just giving him advice,” Adam stated. “He needs to know ruining relationships isn’t worth his happiness. I think it’s an important thing anybody who found their soulmate needs to know.” 

“That’s not appropriate advice for when somebody first sees colours. I’m excited for Keith because he’s a good kid who deserves it.” 

After that, Shiro turned again to set a hand on Keith’s shoulder. His smile was strained, but there. What Keith appreciated was that he was trying. 

“How about I get you some ice cream at that place I mentioned to celebrate, Keith? I know how how you love mint oreo. Maybe you can tell me all about colours too. I’d love to know everything,” Shiro said, trying his best to act like Adam hadn’t said anything for Keith’s sake. 

“Really, Takashi?” Adam hissed. “Giving ice cream to a child? Could you make it any more obvious he's just a kid who knows nothing about soulmates?”

Keith was done. He didn’t want to hear this anymore. He'd stayed as long as he did for Shiro, but really couldn't take this. He already knew he had no chance with Shiro, so Adam’s words were not only hurtful, but unnecessary. Adam had Shiro and was going to probably have him forever. He didn't need to harshly remind Keith of that. 

“I’ve gotta go,” Keith grumbled, tugging at his bag roughly and slinging it over his shoulder. “Bye, Shiro.” 

“Keith, wait--!”

Keith was already slamming the door behind him. It didn’t take long to hear muffled shouting. It was so loud he caught bits of it. 

“What were you thinking?” Shiro asked, shock and a hint of anger behind his words. “You ruined it for him!” 

“As I said before, it was advice, Takashi,” Adam replied coldly. “He needs to know where his place is when it comes to soulmates.” 

“What are you even talking about?” Shiro questioned frustratedly. “Seeing colours should have people celebrating, not offer deprecating advice. Not to mention, he’s probably the first cadet in years to realise who their soulmate is. We should be happy for him!” 

“You really do think that he actually has a soulmate who will love him, don’t you? With a record like him, you think somebody will genuinely want that forever? Would you want him forever!?” 

Keith stopped. He held his breath, waiting for the answer that would most certainly break his heart. 

“You’re going way too far, Adam,” Shiro stated firmly. “He’s kind and determined. If I were his soulmate? Yeah, I’d absolutely take him forever.” 

Keith's stopped as his breath hitched. It was only a scenario Shiro didn't expect could ever come true, but those words did something to him. They were meaningful, regardless of how they were delivered. Shiro would never know it, but he'd just said something Keith would hold onto for a long time. Keith had no hope, but Shiro’s acceptance of him was something. 

“Seriously, Takashi? You'd accept that?” Adam asked.

“Where are you getting all this from?!” Shiro asked, finally raising his voice. “You can’t talk like that!” 

Keith then continued walking, not wanting to hear anymore. Shiro’s words were good, but not enough to heal the entire day’s events. His self esteem had been trampled on enough, he didn't need to hurt anymore. 

Before he could make it too far, another disheveled officer stepped outside his dorm. His look was part concerned, part exasperated. 

He turned his head to look at Keith. “It’s Shirogane and Wagner, isn’t it, cadet?”

Keith nodded solemnly, his eyes fixated on the ground. From here he could only hear white noise, shouting only some words that were loud enough Keith could identify.

The guy frowned. “Shirogane’s such a great guy, so I hate to complain, but recently they've had a few fights. Not often enough to think they’re going to break up, but it’s usually over the same thing and I think they really need to talk it out. There’s no way a guy like Shirogane is going to turn down Kerberos, but after the last fight boy do I really feel bad for Keith.” 

Keith looked up at him. “What’s wrong with Keith?”

The guy shrugged. “A cadet they fought over about a week ago. Apparently Shirogane hung out with him for a while doing I don't know what and it really got on Wagner’s nerves. Wagner’s a little possessive so he probably got jealous or something.”

“But Shiro would never cheat on anybody,” Keith replied with a frown. 

The guy shook his head. “Anybody who's met Shirogane knows he'd never hurt anybody, especially Wagner. Problem is, Wagner isn't an idealist like Shirogane. He probably knows they're not soulmates by now, even if Shirogane thinks otherwise.” 

Keith's breath hitched. Not soulmates? Shiro had been nothing but positive about his love for Adam. 

The guy looked at Keith with a knowing look on his face. “I hate to gossip, but if I'm being honest? Wagner wanted Shirogane to stay far away from Keith from what I heard from their fight. Anybody who knows Shirogane knows about Keith, and Wagner probably couldn't handle it. It was the worst I'd ever heard—even Shirogane had gotten loud, which was nothing like I'd ever heard before. He's usually calm, the voice of reason, you know? But this was bad, worse than all the Kerberos ones.” 

Keith was silent. He didn't know how to respond to that. 

“Keith? Totally Shirogane’s soulmate and Wagner is really mad about it,” the guy explained. “By the sounds of it, Shirogane still has hope Wagner is his forever but Wagner’s suspecting otherwise. Me? Shirogane has a soulmate that he doesn’t realise he has yet and that’s going to end in nothing but disaster. Knowing Wagner, there’s no way he’s gonna let that go without a fight. Shirogane is the best kind of guy a gay man would want and not being his soulmate after dating for years is going to really mess him up. God, I hope Keith isn’t in his class.”

No. That wasn’t right. Shiro was in love with Adam and he always made the sentiment pretty obvious. Keith loved Shiro, but there was no way Shiro could ever see a soulmate in him. He liked successful and straight-laced guys like Adam, not orphans with disciplinary issues. Shiro was his friend, but Shiro would never see anything farther than that. The universe was only feeding him lies he saw right through. Adam was right. This whole thing was just a fluke and there was nothing Keith could do about it. 

And yeah. Keith was pretty sure nothing was going to be good in the classes with Adam to come. Adam was usually never showed biases in class, but Keith highly doubted he'd overcome this one. 

The guy let out a low whistle. “Imagine if somebody besides Wagner takes Shirogane’s virginity. That’ll be hell on the entire Garrison.” 

Keith blushed. Yeah, that would be hell for the Garrison, but heaven for Keith. 

The guy gave him a strange look at Keith's expression. “What are you even doing around here, cadet? Your dorms are across the Garrison. Tell me your name.” 

“Cadet Kogane,” Keith replied, absolutely not willing to give his first name in this situation.

The guy’s eyes widened. “Oh no. You're the Keith Kogane? The one Shirogane talks about? Please don't mention I said anything. I just got this rank and there's no way Wagner will let me off easy for this.” 

“Uh, I've got to go,” Keith said, beginning to run down the hallway. The guy called out to him, but there was no way he was running back to that disaster. 

This soulmate thing was going to destroy him.


End file.
